on parenting
How to Raise an Adult
Break free of the overparenting trap and prepare your kid for success
New York Times best-seller.
Reviewed by the New York Times.
Drawing on research, on conversations with admissions officers, educators, and employers, and on her own insights as a mother and as a student dean, Julie highlights the ways in which overparenting harms children, their stressed-out parents, and society at large.
While empathizing with the parental hopes and, especially, fears that lead to overhelping, Julie offers practical strategies that underline the importance of allowing children to make their own mistakes and develop the resilience, resourcefulness, and inner determination necessary for success.
Why I wrote How to Raise an Adult…
From 2002 to 2012, I was the dean of freshmen at Stanford University. My time mentoring and working with so many students was immensely rewarding. It also gave me a view of the future that frightened me.
Each year, more and more students arrived on campus with an impressive list of accomplishments but no sense of independence. They had grown up with parents who protected them from failure, made their choices for them, and solved all their problems.
I saw the damage that overparenting caused: students were lost, anxious, depressed. They didn’t know how to handle life when it didn’t go their way.
I wrote this book to provide an alternate view of how to raise our kids to be self-sufficient, and I invite you to join me on the journey toward raising the next generation of strong, resilient adults.
4 parenting tips from Julie
Advice to help your kids build the skills needed to become healthy, thriving adults.
Talks on parenting
TED Talk: How to Raise Successful Kids–Without Overparenting
Julie explains why parents aren’t actually helping when they load their kids with high expectations and micromanage their lives.
More books by Julie
On adulting
Your Turn: How to Be an Adult
Being an adult, it turns out, is not about any particular checklist; it is, instead, a process, one you can get progressively better at over time―becoming more comfortable with uncertainty and gaining the knowhow to keep going. Once you begin to practice it, being an adult becomes the most complicated yet also the most abundantly rewarding and natural thing. And Julie Lythcott-Haims is here to help readers take their turn.
on race
Real American: A Memoir
In this powerful and award-winning reflection on identity, belonging, and community, Julie details growing up Black and biracial in white spaces. She shares the toll that racism, discrimination, and microaggressions took on her self-worth, and how she found acceptance through the healing power of community.
ON WRITING
Writing Memoir
This little book of writing prompts from The Writer’s Grotto, where Julie was a member, opens with a foreword by Julie that offers pointers for crafting a compelling narrative from your own experiences. The rest of the book consists of prompts and space to write, providing opportunities to reframe aspects of your life in thoughtful and interesting ways.